December 20, 2009

The Isolation of Boomer Mothers: The Worst of Both Worlds

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This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of second and third marriages; the dangers and coaching solutions concerned with ‘spoiled’ children and the hurdles that must be addressed for family newcomers: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

Psychological Articles and Coaching Tips for Baby Boomers to Avoid/ Alleviate Elderly Problems


Baby boomer mothers, as opposed to boomer grandmothers, tend to be on the receiving end of most of the family’s emotions – some good; some bad. The trends of the modern World are such that women aged between 45 and 50 might be grandmothers themselves yet are still holding down pressured jobs and running busy, and possibly unorthodox, family structures.

Modern women take their independence and ability to contribute seriously; more so, sometimes, than their husbands and children give credit for. Women who fall into the category of ‘professional’ are particularly pressured to perform and excel within exacting job roles yet still produce a comfortable home environment for their families.

The conventional and ideal family structure in the fifties and sixties consisted of a hard working husband and a stay-at-home, wear-an-apron-with-pride Mom, busying herself in her home to provide a perfect and secure family life. Psychological articles from the schools of Attachment, Object Relations, and Positive Psychology tell us that this century, things have changed somewhat and stay-at-home-Mom has all but disappeared, to be replaced by go-to-work-all-day Mom, who comes home after a hard day (stopping at the market en route for groceries) and then cooks dinner for family and sometimes extended family.

Successful baby boomer Mom is strong of character; efficient (she needs to be) and all embracing. The incidence of broken marriages in our modern World sometimes necessitates having to offer daughters with small children a home, either temporarily or permanently, along with all the complications such alternative family structures imply.

Suddenly, just when baby boomer Mom thought it was her turn to sit in the rocking chair, she is catapulted back into a world of school runs, child care and sticky fingers! The problems are not only emotional; they might also be financial, requiring extra income and extra work to produce it!

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Somewhere in the chaos caused by the lack of traditional values and responsibilities, one elderly problem can be that Grandma presides over a family structure that is fragmented and not in the least resembling the Utopia projected in the fifties as the ideal family environment. The elderly boomer might even view boomer Mom as incompetent when she compares family life to her own experience.

Caught between the unrealistic expectations of the older members of the family and the social difficulties faced by the younger generation, boomer Mom struggles to attain an acceptable level of peace and contentment.

Psychological articles explore the dilemma faced by modern women and reflect that the problems that typify modern families are mostly concerned with broken sexual relationships, such as separation and divorce.

When there are children to consider, the female boomer Mom’s hands-on solution to daily challenges is the only viable alternative to turning one’s back on distressed sons and daughters needing practical help. Boomer Grandmothers are certainly the matriarchs of the modern family but boomer Moms, with their amazing abilities to juggle multiple roles, are the captains of most family endeavors to stay afloat throughout the stormy and volatile social structures of the 21st Century.

The Psychological Article on The Isolation of Boomer Mothers: The Worst of Both Worlds is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

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